Sunday, August 9, 2009

"I Am A Doctor!"

“I Am A Doctor!” spoken with true authority that momentarily confused me as it was coming from our cable service technician last Friday at the beginning of a visit to clear up our perpetual TV and internet problem. (Does anyone not have a perpetual cable problem?) The odd thing about this statement, besides the obvious, was that it came just after he pronounced, “I don’t want you too close to me.”

Apparently he believed he was the “Cable Doctor,” and he also thought I would spit on him and infect him with my disease. He wasn’t the most charming of people. When Diane opened the front door at the top of the stoop in answer to his knocking on the gate under the stoop, he barked: “why does it say basement?” (On the Time Warner Cable account – who knows?!) Then he said, “You don’t have dogs!?” She reassured him we didn't and he entered, only to be confronted by a stooped, swollen headed, man who breathed through a hole in his neck and was dressed like a samurai on holiday. To further his unease, I started talking to him – apologizing for my terrible diction and unintelligible voice (an unfortunate and unintended result of my cancer.) When he responded, “ why doesn’t she interpret?” I naturally started to don my ‘kill the technician’ armor, preparing for a loud but unintelligible assault on the jerk.

Diane realized that I was about to sink our chances of ever again receiving my daily salve, the BBC America channel, and hastily cautioned me that “now wasn’t the time.” I disagreed and by nods of the head and hand gestures we commenced to argue, which luckily I lost. Diane talked with the tech, listening to his fear of contagion, fear of my spitting on him, and correcting him about my medical condition and my ability to spit. The contrite tech then confessed that two of his close relatives had died from cancer and apologized to both of us. I accepted his apology instead of lopping of his head and, of course Diane was right, and he redoubled his efforts at perfecting our service going above and beyond.

How does one deal with someone whose appearance has changed from the dashingly handsome, ok I’m taking some poetic license, to totally disfigured and, one might say, grotesque. We’ve been trained by movies and TV to worship perfection. After all the bad guy is always either bald, short, limps, is missing an eye, scarred or has some other abnormality to distinguish him from ‘us’ the perfect audience. My close friend recently told me he was “shocked, I tell you, shocked,” by my appearance when he saw me again after 6 months. I’m shocked sometimes too.

It’s as much a learning curve for me as for others. I am not sure how people will take me: whether I’d make them uncomfortable, whether they would be able to overlook the changes and look for the person who still inhabits this misshapen head. I have to talk myself into going out now. A little pep talk reassures me that, whatever others may think, I must not quit without trying. My difficult speech has similarly influenced my choices – I tend not to answer the phone and am now a listener in group settings, only lobbing in a few bon mots every so often, and then re-lobbing them until people understand. My timing is truly unique. To combat the verbal steamrollering of members of my family I raise my hand before speaking. Quite humiliating, sort of, but very effective!

What do I want people to do? I want everyone to feel comfortable around my appearance. Don’t worry that you have to address my illness in a compassionate way, or at all. Just say what you want when you want. I’ll let you know if you offend, or if I need something. What I enjoy most is watching others enjoy themselves. My friend Steve said “well, you’ve got that portly Asian look down now,” and that was nice, funny and quite off the cuff. It made me feel that I could relax and not worry that the conversation was going to slide into the Grand Canyon of medical awkwardness. My neighbor’s 3-year-old daughter treats me just like everyone else, someone to flirt with! So if you see a slightly hobbled, melon headed, man wearing a hat, walking with a stick towards you just say, “hi, it’s a great day! Isn’t it?” And I’ll say, “yep, it’s a great day!” and feel it too.

73 comments:

  1. While, it's a fact, you were dashingly handsome back in college, I truly don't remember you having half the panache you have right now. You've become a kind of a poet (perhaps an actual one?) and your words are utterly compelling. I guess that's ironic given your challenges with speech right now, but I certainly don't want you to stop talking. So - having read this last entry; "Hi Brian. It's a great day, isn't it?"

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  2. Hi! I stumbled over here courtesy of Diane, whom I know from St. John's. I really enjoyed this post. I feel like we all kind of bumble through life, half the time not knowing how to interact with each other, getting it wrong some times and right others. I like your way of addressing that very much. It's easy to forget that just being comfortable is all that's needed. Thanks for reminding me.

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  3. "dressed like a samurai on holiday" -- priceless. Lovely, funny, smart writing, Brian, thank you so much!

    Moira

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  4. Yes, Stace...it's a great day!" thanks!!'

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  5. Hi! Brian, I received this e-mail from your "outlaw" and a link to your blog. I need to share with you that I could have never imagined the ordeal you have been through since I have known you, let alone since you were ten. You are an inspiration to all those that you encounter. Most of them may not know it. God has given you a purpose. A wonderfull life blessed with so many wonderfull people. I can understand why the little three year old "flirts" with you. She sees with eyes of innocence how sincere,pure and handsome you are. That is God at work. Thanks for Blessing me with this blog. Thank you Al. I have always looked at my misfortunes through the eyes of others. I have been allowed to do that so that I can appreciate what I have and realize what truly matters. That is: health, loving family, loving friends, a sens of humor and the Blessings from God. One should not ask for more. You, my dear cousin, have them all. You are truly Blessed. And you share your blessings with others. That is admirable of you. May God continue to Bless you and yours. Stay well. In Love, your cousins, Blaise, Michelle and Salvatore-John Ragusa

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  6. yes, It ids really your words-in-your-personality that compelled me to visit, not your looks (which seem rather cheerful). Also Since I have moved to Japan, and live in the countryside, I have learned to appreciate what I never thought about before, that is "being different".

    We all generally speaking have to learn to appreciate diversity.

    Oh I remember....The second thing that drew me here, is that you mentioned you are a survivor. I had a friend, who had come here to Japan to manage a project for Disney, finally move on to the next world after 15 months of treatment. His sister took care of him and posted blog entries about once a week from his "new retirement home" in Vancouver. This guy seemed to have done "everything right". I am thinking that cancer has some spiritual meaning for all of us.

    If we are all intimately associated (well beyond what we recognize as being associated now) then cancer is part of response we, me and you and everyone, has with something or with God. I think we always want to break it down to an individual meaning, "He got it, and I didn't, or vice versa" and I have changed my opinion of this rather American way of seeing the world and ourselves, as a collection of competitive individuals. But this new understanding for me is still in the theoretical stage. I haven't gained any new insight, only this is my intuitive thought, or perhaps coping mechanism, just in case cancer has already entered my body and set up shop (I avoid doctors, hospitals, check ups etc.)

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  7. hi brian,

    i just happenend to get on your homepage. i am a physicist and although i don`t know all the details: have you ever thought of having a decompressing "lymphoedema" therapy, partly having soft head massages and wearing regularly a kind of a mask during the night like they wear when diving ? i am serious, talk to your personal doctor. i don`t think you have to accept that sideeffect "moonface".
    all the best,
    bernadette

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  8. hi brian,
    once again me. english is not my mother tongue so i only wanted to correct something. i thought physicist is equivalent to doctor...so i am not a physicist but a doctor, to be more precise a dermatologist!
    bernadette

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  9. Hey Brian, it is good to know you. Life is full of treasures, and you seem to be aware and part of that. Good job! Greetings from C.R.

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  10. Hey Brian,
    Just a short note from way up north (Stockholm/Sweden)...If you ask me, reading your blog should be any doctor's choice of patient treatment - hilarious, funny, sad and so full of willpower and lust to live!
    All the best from me, Maria, and my "kids", the cats Zorba and Zegan tou you, your wife and to Whitman, Yeats, Poe and Emily :-)

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  11. Hi,Brian,
    Great writing. I was wandering if you are on Twitter, too. It's a cool way to keep in touch daily and irony and black sense of humor get sharper with the 140 characters limit ;-) My twitter name is @irishchari.
    Also letting you know the Global Cancer Summit in happening here in Dublin next week and I'm a volunteer with Livestrong. Yeap, it's gonna be a great day!!!

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  12. Just read the article on the New York Times website. Went on to read the blog. Man, that's good and funny writing! Thank you so much! :o)

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  13. Good Morning Brain,

    English is my second language. I do share some of what EdoRiver commented here on your blog may be because I’m an educator too. I couldn’t sleep this morning and first thing I read your article in NY Times and it touched me as everything touches me since I was a child. I can’t express my emotions easy but I’m very strong believer of all of our presence on this earth for a reason. 30 years ago when I first came to US knowing a lot about the world already but discovering the ignorance of American of others culture. I became a friend with a quadriplegic young man that time and we became best friends till his death 2003. His friend questioned me what do I see in them (wheelchair people). I said that I see God gave me a car to drive and the wheel chair for you to be in. So, we all get different vehicle to move by. So, if I see you on the street I feel that I’m seeing another gift of God to learn and be inspired from each other.

    I’m a cancer survivor too and when I had to remove one breast I told them take the bad and the balance, so I elected to remove both and I made enough jokes about such. I created different style of clothing and I don’t care and didn’t care for others feelings about my appearance before getting to learn about my depth.

    So, if any one does look at you differently, it is their own problem because they didn’t reach better insight with their own troubles to reflect on others.

    I can tell you million of stories as I’m traveler and deep observant besides my own life stories from war, family, X husband, BUT, I chose not let any of such to tarnish my God gift of acceptance the good, the bad and the ugly. You are blessed to have Diane as I wish both of you to have many peaceful days to come.

    By the way I read many blogs and wish to comment some times, this one I couldn’t walk by without leaving a note.

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  14. skirts are great in the summer though ! maybe they make it a great day too.
    bon courage ...read your article in the nyt web page..greetings

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  15. was directed here from NYT. i'm an indian from mumbai and loved your post. will keep coming back regularly :-)
    have a great day!
    anubha

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  16. Read your essay in the NY Times -- loved it and emailed it along. Will come to your blog regularly to read more! From a former Brooklynite and fellow BBC America lover....

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  17. I found your blog from the NYT. I'm an ESRD patient of over 15 years, I started dialysis in Jan of 1994, had a transplant in 2000 and was back on dialysis in 2005. When I read your words they were filled with such strength and hope.
    I will keep coming back here to read what you have to say.
    Thanks

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  18. Sweetness,

    I too am a cancer survivor. While I don't have the mellon head, I do have lymphedema on my torso and so always look off. I understand the strange looks when I wear short sleeves or a form fitting dress. It is unnerving to be the object of stares. I sometimes wonder if a button has come undone or my underwear is showing and then I remember how the rest of the world sees me and I feel sad.

    It isn't fun and never totally comforting, but it helps me to remember how many haven't made it as far in our cancer journey.I don't want to be a beautiful corpse.

    A while back I was emailed a sign that said "Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "Holy Shit... What a ride!" I want that to be me. So despite the wounds on my chest that keep reopening because of the radiation, or the lymphedema that makes me look like the Michelin Man, or the no-boob look, I'd prefer to be up here enjoying life and enduring the stares than a well-preserved body experiencing nothing.

    Ride on sir.

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  19. I love your voice, Brian Nelson. Thanks for giving me something to remember when I succumb sometimes to qualms about my one-breasted appearance. And please keep writing! I've learned, I hope, that if you've survived cancer and you're laughing more than you ever did before cancer, you're on to something important. And big articulate hearts like yours help make that happen....

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  20. like probably a million other people, i read your piece in the nyt. i wanted to shoot you a note and say: right on, kayak building! i built a clc boat a couple years ago and it was one of the best things i ever did. i'd love to know what you're building.

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  21. Brian...it's not how you look. It's how you look at it! Thanks for the insights...Tom

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  22. Brian:

    Loved your post today in the NYTimes. It made me laugh, and wince. My mother, while my father was literally dying of pancreatic cancer, had her nose removed because of melanoma. She has a prosthetic now, but the months of having a bandage and no noticeable shape underneath led to so many stares and questions...

    I am a teacher--8th grade English--,and would love, with your permission, to use this article in class.

    Great writing. Thank you.

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  23. Hi Brian ... I, also, read your essay in the NYT and was led to your blog. You're a great writer! I will check back in to see what you are up to. As I was reading your blog, I wasn't sure where you lived and thought, due to your kilt, you lived in England. Alas! I was happy to learn that you live in Brooklyn. I'm now hoping I might get a chance to see you so I can say hello, it's a great day isn't it. Good luck with your kayack and yes, venture outside as much as you want, the world is yours and honestly, your dashingly handsome self shines right through. Thanks for your blog - NDO

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  24. I read your post on the NYT. My father had head and neck cancer and experienced many of the indignities you describe in this article. Medical professionals who were far less intelligent than he treated him as though he were simple-minded, when he was just unable to communicate. He lost almost half of his body weight (190 to 98 lbs.) before he passed away. It still stings to think of the way people treated him before he passed away. Your humor in dealing with a similar situation made me smile. Thanks.
    -Maria

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  25. Great and inspiring article in the NYT. Do you have a facebook account?

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  26. Brian, What a wonderful essay (which I read in the NYT online)! Thanks for sharing your experiences and for (so selflessly) educating the public about true human beauty. Peace, Mark

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  27. Thank you, Mr. Nelson, for educating us all in a topic that some might be too nervous to approach. :) And I think that humor and courage -- both of which you display in abundance -- are the most attractive traits of all.

    See you around the 'hood,
    heidi h

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  28. Thank you for writing that piece in NYT. We conquer ignorance one person at a time! And from one Asian to another, welcome to the family! :)

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  29. Count me among those who read the article in today's New York Times and came to your blog for more of your wonderful writing. Great stuff; I'm a new fan.



    Blather From Brooklyn

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  30. Great piece in today's NYT, well done, Sir Brian!

    Also, that is a smashing kilt!

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  31. Kudos on the NY Times article, Brian. Bravo.

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  32. I come from a long line of black humor advocates and have found it a mental health saver on more occasions than I can count. Kudos to you for finding the underneath of bad (flip it over and it's still bad, but hopefully funny)and sharing it with us. I admire your perseverence, writing ability and dashing wardrobe. Onward!!!
    Bonnie A.

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  33. Thank you so much for this post. I fear that I am guilty of frequently causing the Grand Canyon of medical awkwardness while I silently argue with myself about the best way to proceed. Should I say something about the obvious medical condition so that the person afflicted knows I wish they were feeling better or will doing so make them feel worse? Should I ignore the condition and get back to the normally hard work of coming up with something vaguely interesting to say? Or will that suggest that I couldn't care less? Would it be akin to seeing a friend with a bad cold and neglecting to say, "I hope you feel better"? Thanks so much for offering such an honest unvarnished answer to a question I have repeatedly been too awkward to ask. My guess is that you have just dramatically increased the odds that countless others will have that good day you so eloquently describe. Nice work!

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  34. Hello!
    I am just wondering if you have ever tried any alternate healing modalities. They work.

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  35. Just read your piece on the NYT and wandered over to say hello. My brother-in-law is suffering the slings and arrows of outrageously bad health (although you have a special corner reserved for that, Brian) and you came along just as I was wondering about how to continue to treat him like the person he is. Good luck and thanks for sharing your thoughts - you helped me so much today.

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  36. Hi Brian,
    We worked together at Roundabout many years ago. (I was in the education office, next door to the management office). I was impressed, surprised, and delighted to read your NYT column. I feel you articulated your journey with graceful honesty and your typical humor.
    I can understand there are several barriers (physical and psychological) to going out in public, but I hope you will perservere. I truly believe that people will respond to positive energy if you let them, so I hope you'll allow the kids, adults, and assorted dogs and cats of Brooklyn (and beyond) delight in your wit and intelligence.
    Cheers,
    Phil Alexander
    (also a Brooklynite!)

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  37. Brian:

    Here I am a 77 year old guy who can. when he chooses, stack the wood piled in the yard and cut grass and complain about a chronic backache. Then I stumble on your blog today and am brought face to face with the meaning of blessing. I have always been conscious of how lucky I am. When the time comes, and it usually does, when I need more than simple luck to take on my day, I hope I can find something like your courage and humor. Thank you.

    PS: I promise to stop complaining about my puny backache,

    Jerry Henderson

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  38. Just read your article on NYTimes! Very open & honest portrayal of living life with a disability, and great witty piece that really displayed your sense of humor in the midst of all these series of unfortunate events.

    I am a Gardener, and will follow this blog as the writing is good. :-)

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  39. I have a problem with disfigurement and tend to cross the road or change the channel...Read your piece and all of a sudden my day was better because your beauty and courage shines through

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  40. Brian...you are beautifully made! I have recently watched 2 friends die from cancer and 4 more survive it. The one thing I notice in each of them and in you is how the life and spirit inside each of you blossoms/grows/matures and spreads loving seeds in the hearts of others. You are inspiring!

    We may never know why we endure such challenges, but our greatest strength and understanding comes during these difficult times.

    Not only does your spirit shine, but whether you know it or not, it is spreading to the hearts of so many who hear your story. After doing massage for 7 years, I am now a Lymphedema Therapist and am working with people who have similar stories. It is deeply rewarding to be able to help them "get their voices back."

    I know my true teachers have been those who have lived and died in the face of adversity letting their Spirit shine and showing God's face to the rest of us. You are one among them. Thank you!

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  41. I just finished reading your piece, Brian, in the NY Times. I really enjoyed it. Thank you so much for reminding me that we all want to be loved and accepted. I will carrying what you wrote in my heart and I'll let it influence my actions and behavior positively. I wish you all the best and look forward to reading your blog. Stacey, San Jose, CA.

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  42. Read the NYT piece. You're very inspiring, and a great writer. Please keep it up! Like other commenters, I too feel ashamed when I don't know how to react to someone who is physically different from the societal standard, and I appreciated your simple statement on how to approach such things: to say what I want when I want! It's simple advice, but something I shall try to take to heart every day.

    Best wishes on your health and everything else in your life! I love the names of your cats. Thanks again for sharing.

    Grace

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  43. Brian, it was a pleasure to meet you through your NYT's piece. Your message will stay with me. Wishing you all the best in life.

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  44. Also, the kilt is absolutely fabulous :)

    Cheers!
    Grace

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  45. Thanks for sharing. I believe your humor & understanding about your circumstances makes you a stronger person. It takes a brave man or woman to do that. Your writing is great, keep at it!

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  46. Hey!
    I loved your post.
    You know... you have to consider yourself lucky. People need to learn about what's important in life. Go beyond that superficiality.
    Your heart is so big and you care so much for others that you decided to come to this life and face the challenges you are facing, hence, be a tool for others to be reminded of the important thing in life: love thy neighbour...
    My sister was born with a mental defficiency. She lived 7 years. She was the biggest gift my family ever receibed. We were reminded of the true meaning of life.
    My cousin had an accident at 18 and since then is paraplegic. He lives life to the fullest. Is always sarcarstic about it and reminds us of, once again, what is important in life.
    You are an incredible person. Thanks for being so humble and caring and reminding everyone else about the importance of unconditional loving and true happiness.
    You are in my prayers.
    :)

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  47. Hi Brian -

    I am a freelance writer for AOL Health and would love to talk to you about your kayak building, love of kilts and also looking different than you once did. Your piece in the The Times was really great. I too live in Brooklyn. Please get in touch with me at katherine.tweed@yahoo.com.

    Thanks,
    Katie

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  48. Sir Brian,

    Thank you for your wise and witty words. Your essay in the New York Times made my day.

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  49. great article, great spirit for life and man - great kilt!

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  50. Read your essay in the NYT and wanted to thank you for it. It reminded me of seeing Tammy Faye Messner (formerly Tammy Faye Baker) on Larry King just before she died. In the first moments I found myself scared of but mesmerized by her appearance. Had I been in her presence, I probably would have had what I call a "Control Your Face" moment. Anyway, as I sat there and watched, I told myself to calm down and when I did, I found myself listening to her. And I realized that this woman was doing an enormous public service -- as you are doing, too. I think her message was along the lines of, "I am sick, but I am still me, and still human, and all that that implies", and with that, I became much less afraid.

    Boy, do I love men in kilts.

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  51. Brian,

    I just read your article in the New York Times dated today and must say it was very uplifting. You "opened a path" for those so who feel awkard (the classic, do I say something or not)or fear meeting people with similar issues. Your attitude of "just say something and I will let you know" was refreshing, open, and most of all honest!

    Thanx!

    Ken

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  52. Thank you for a great article, Brian. You started my day off right.

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  53. Living life for me is learning to surf above the uneven terrain of my health.

    Thanks so much for articulating the experience in words that take me inside and that in some cases, I can identify with. Please keep writing, I need you.

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  54. Yes, we’ve been trained to worship perfection, and thus to feed our usual delusional state of mind since perfection does not exist - greek gods knew it and found pleasure having themselves all the human weaknesses, and then some.

    I beg you to keep going out as much as you feel like and thus help us to be trained differently since whoever feels uncomfortable in the presence of the unusual is simply someone lacking imagination and joie de vivre, someone unaware that the world ‘s multiplicity contributes to its richness.

    Thank you so very much for beenwho you are.

    Love your McGregor kilt!!!
    Raquel

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  55. Dear Brian - It's a great day because I began it reading your compelling NYT piece.
    A dozen years ago I was in a head-on car crash. It's absolutly amazing what's learned about friends from events we can't control. We loose some old & trusted ones but find so many new ones.
    One of the nurses in the hospital, in a lovely Jamaican-singy voice told me "It's God's way of telling you to slow down."
    Well, life may slow us down physically, but it can also accelerate our beliefs and enjoyment.
    Thanks for sharing and reminding us to live every day in wonder. Keep up the blog!
    Nancy, Monarch Beach, CA

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  56. Brian - Thank you so much for sharing your story - you are truly an inspiration. I just finished reading your "Bowel Me Over" post and I would be happy to share the name of my gastroenterologist if you are looking for a new one. I have been getting colonoscopies since I was 16 years old (I'm 27 now and will be getting my 5th one this year! woohoo!) so I know all too well how important and reassurring it is to have an attentive and understanding doctor. The one I go to now is listed as one of the best in NYC, per NY Mag's Top Docs issue and he is a gem. Email me at rebecca.regal@yahoo.com if you would like his contact info - he makes it as pleasant of an experience as possible:)

    Good luck to you

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  57. Brian,
    You're an inspiration. Keep laughing, love your wife, and DVR the BBC! Will be following your blog.
    All my best,
    Brad York

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  58. Thank you for your courage and inspiration. You are amazing, thanks for the laughs.
    You are brilliantly human.
    Will keep you in my prayers.
    Christine

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  59. Brian, I found your blog through the NYT; thanks so much for your wise and hilarious story. I lost a majority of my vision about 24 years ago due to diabetic retinopathy from T1 diabetes (36 years and counting--to quote a previous poster, "whoo-hoo!"), and humor (or, at least a skewed perspective) is an important part of my coping arsenal. You're doing more than coping yourself: you're helping the rest of us to do so. Again, thanks.

    Jenny

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  60. Your life story is very touching. You are such a strong person to love the joys of life amongst all the pain and health battles you have fought. Very inspiring!! As a medical student, I will strive to give each patient the time and individual care that you and all patients deserve. Thank you for sharing.

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  61. Your courage and humor are both inspiring, Brian. I am so happy I've found your blog and will continue to be an avid reader. You are a great writer - I am a literary agent working out of LA and would love to speak to you further about possible literary endeavors. If you'd be interested, please feel free to email me at anthony@renaissancemgmt.net - so sorry to do that in a public forum, but I saw no other way to contact you. Either way, all the best.

    -Anthony

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  62. Thank heavens for people like you. You remind us of how great life is and can be, in spite of troubles and trauma. Thanks for a great post.

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  63. Thank you for the blog. I'm currently preparing for a stem cell transplant due to recurrent Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I'm having to wear a HEPA filter mask whenever I leave the apartment, and because of that haven't left the apartment much. Your blog reminds me to psyche myself up to leave the apartment and "don't let the bastards get you down!" Best of luck to you! I'll keep checking back for more postings.

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  64. Thank you so much for your blog which I found out about while reading the New York times online. I hope you keep it going. You have a terrific writing style .

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  65. Brian, It was great to see you on that Great Evening last Spring celebrating our 125th ACC Anniversary, To be quite honest, I had only a partial knowledge of your numerous maladies, Please forgive me for not paying more attention over the years.
    Much of my life revolves around family, business, and not least: my own health issues, being a survivor of Ulcerative Colitis and living with a Stoma. It's not all bad and there is some humor, and I am used to the one-off stares, and I still feel awkward, One benefit is that I know where every bathroom is all the time! But I have gotten used to my life and condition and am relieved that the pain and sickness is in the past.
    Thank you for your commentary and although we each interpret writings based on our own experiences, your writings remind me that you are in fact living life as George Carlin described it:
    Life's journey is not to
    arrive at the grave safely
    in a well preserved body,
    but rather to skid in sideways,
    totally worn out, shouting
    '..holy sh*t ....what a ride"
    Keep up your spirits and Have a Great day!
    Your friend, Chris Coan

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  66. Hi Brian,

    More post please?

    : )

    Andy

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  67. Brian,
    I just read your story on nytimes.com, and commented there that perhaps receiving daily massages may help to greatly reduce or manage the swelling in your face and neck. Please contact me for names of exceptional therapists that would love to work with you if you are interested.
    Hope you are having a GREAT day!!

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  68. What an inspiring story.

    It's a great day indeed!

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    En çok girilen ve tıklanan siteler bu türlü yetişkin siteleridir. Bu sitelerden film izlemek oldukça keyiflidir. Porno siteleri kullanıcılarına farklı hizmetler sağlamak ve en iyisini kullanıcılarına sunmak için özenle hazırlanmış sitelerdir.
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