From Elise Carper - Brian's primary nurse

I’ve been an oncology nurse since 1980. I’ve had the honor of working with many amazing people through the years, and as I think you know, I’ve loved my chance to work with them. Being a care-partner of Brian’s (and yours) was on another level in so many ways. He was the most heroic person I think I’ve ever known. His (and your) courage to face each trial, each recurrence, each treatment course, each side effect, etc., with such grace, was incredible, and rare. Even more special is how Brian never became “the cancer patient”. He remained Brian Nelson throughout our entire period of knowing each other. He never allowed anyone to reduce him to his disease, but instead, shared his open, full personality with us all. The birthday party last year spoke volumes on this point. When it threatened to become sad, Brian nipped the eulogies in the bud, and encouraged all to have fun, drink up!!!



When we first met at his original consultation, Brian told me that he was, unfortunately, an “expert” on hospitals, treatments, and medical personnel. He told me he was too experienced to put up with any “covering up”, or “downplaying” or “hiding information from me”. He said he expected to be treated as an equal at all times, and that if we (Dr. Harrison and I) slipped back into “typical medical crap” he would let us know. He told me, “I am a tough patient, Elise.” Diane, I found him to be anything but difficult….and it is one of my proudest memories as a nurse, that you and Brian called me that day you were deciding whether to get the trach or not. To have the 2 of you, want MY opinion on such an important decision?..... It was amazing, and an honor. It meant the world to me that Brian and you trusted me in that way.